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I went to LA for five days last week to attend the Prospective Student Weekend at Fuller Seminary in Pasadena. I also took the chance to visit seven aunts and uncles and a couple of cousins who live in the LA area. It was great to spend several days with them (it has been a little over two years since I was out there!). We toured a lot of LA, had some great food, and even watched a Royals game together!

As I talked about in an earlier post, I will be leaving Croc/YouthFront at the end of May. I am currently trying to discern what God desires for  my next step. I am  looking into several options, but at the top of my list are Fuller Seminary and an internship program with Samaritans Purse.

The weekend at Fuller went really well. I had the opportunity to talk with several staff, students, and alumni and they all impressed me. The school seems to be seeking truth through questions/critical thinking and also holding on to a strong love/faith for Christ. Both of these are very important to me in a seminary.

Also many people at the school seemed to understand the questions I am struggling with here in Croc. Furthermore, conversations with the other prospective students went really well. It was great to share our different life experiences and thoughts, I can tell the interaction with peers will be one of the greatest parts of seminary if I go.

So by now it probably sounds like I am sold, but I’m not. For me, the only major drawback in Fuller is the price, but it is a big one. They do offer a couple of full rides (I will find out about if I got one about the middle of May and I would appreciate any prayers for me in that matter), but without one of those I would likely go about $50,000 in debt for tuition alone (I would work part-time as well, but I’m not sure I can keep up with living expenses in Pasadena on just part-time work).

The problem for me is I’m not sure if God will have me doing more missions or working for a church after I get out. If it is missions, I will be really limited by the debt.

I met a new friend at the prospective weekend, Chris (who went to Blue Springs South High School with me, though we didn’t meet till last friday!). As I shared a little of my concern about money, he encouraged me that God would provide. I agree, if God wants me to go to Fuller He will provide for me both to go and to be capable to do His will in the future.

I shared with Chris about something the Holy Spirit spoke to me through Matthew 6:24″No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money. ” God was telling me that acting on a fear to spend money was another way to serve money. God didn’t lead me to any sort of decision about what to do, only that I needed to let go of the anxious fear of debt that was clouding my heart and prayers.

Today I took the sheep for a walk into the woods so I could have some time to meditate on the weekend at Fuller and to reflect on a few verses from what I have been reading in Hosea:

“I led them with cords of human kindness,
with ties of love;
I lifted the yoke from their neck
and bent down to feed them.” (Hosea 11:4)

Pretty much anytime I read about any leading right now I perk up. I wondered, as the sheep pecked at the leaves on a fallen branch by a dry creek, if God was leading me through all the human kindness I had experienced at Fuller. I then asked God to take the yoke of the tuition price off my neck and provide for me.

In times like these, when I’m obsessing over a decision, it becomes hard to hear God’s voice and I’m not sure he was trying to say anything through the Hosea passage.

Please be in prayer for me as I try to determine God’s will. Pray that God will clearly reveal His path to me and that He will provide for me on it.

Thanks.

PS. I returned to Croc to find out Peluchi left for a job with one of our friends. He went to Cancun and doesn’t know when he will get back! I talked to him yesterday and he had just arrived (they were on the road for 40 hours!). He says he really wants to get back in time for our party (we had been planning a joint party for his birthday and my going-away), but he doesn’t know when he will come back. I really hate to miss out on seeing him this last month that I am here, but we’ll see…perhaps he will show up as unexpectantly as he left.

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