I got to see a lot of Peluchi. We threw a birthday party for his mom and I also got to go on several house visits with him. At the house visits I got to meet Alfredo and Maria-Guadalupe’s new daughter (whom Peluchi and I were praying for a lot during a hard pregnancy) and I also got to catch up with several of the other families we have grown so close to.

Within an hour of arriving in Croc I was making banana bread again with Jovani, who was super excited to have me back for a bit. Later in the week we also got to make cookies together and one night I got to sit down and have a deep conversation with his mom. Be in prayer for both of them, this has been a hard year on Jovani and the mom is trying to figure out how to handle things.

Apart from Peluchi I probably saw Victor’s family the most. This family and I really made a strong connection my very first summer in Croc (2006) and they’ve always had a special place in my heart. When I left in May a lot of great things were happening in their family: the Dad had become much more involved and the four boys were getting close to him, financially things were going really well too. But I found out this past week that things have been tough since I left. The Dad has been struggling to find work and he left the family for about a month; he’s back again, but a lot of the old resentment between him and the two oldest sons is back. I visited with them on four of the five days I was there and got to have some really meaningful talk with all of them. I really care about each of them (including the Dad, we are friends) and it was hard to only be there for five days. Please pray for them (The parents are Victor and Paz, and the boys from oldest to youngest are Victor, Jose, Carlos, and Eric).

Peluchi and I went out and bought a slaughtered pig and rented the cajon (smokebox) for his mom’s birthday party:

The birthday girl!

Around 1am only the younger guys were left at the party and as regaton (Mexican hip-hop more or less) started playing. Peluchi’s mom (who is as fun-loving as her five sons) started dancing in the middle of everyone! She had a good time, we all did.

.

.

Fernando and Danni and I got to make banana bread one afternoon.

.

.

I got to stop by and see Donna Quika a couple of times (she lives across the street from the house I rented)

One of the many posadas (Christmas parties) I got a chance to go to

Peluchi and I got a chance to have a long conversation with Roberto–who was one of my neighbors who came to me wanted to turn his life around (he was addicted to drugs). He ended up getting connected with the rehab center we got to build with my last couple of springs. When I left in May he was drug-free and passionate about Jesus and when we talked to him last week he was still doing great! It was awesome to hear his excitement about all the things God is doing in his life and how he is sharing it with his family.

 Also on Wednesday I went to my final (well I guess until my next visit) church service at Torre Fuerte. During testimony time I got the chance to share about my thankfulness for where the church has come since my first summer in Croc in 2006. I shared something of the following: During my fifth week of that summer I was for the first time put in charge of a house construction. We built for a lady named Ortencia and she was in need of Christ. We invited her to church and she came, but was looked down upon by the church for her clothing. Ortencia never returned to church and I shared how that made me feel uncomfortable inviting anyone else to Torre Fuerte. Instead I began just sharing about Christ on my own and yet I was in prayer that the local church would become a place where I could invite others. About a year and a half ago Carlos became our new pastor and he started to bring some changes, but also I have seen changes in the congregation. The church has become a place where you can feel both the love for God and the love for others. A little less than a year ago my neighbor Roberto came to me talking about how he was addicted to drugs but wanted God’s help to change. I invited him to Torre Fuerte. This was just one small step on his journey (he later found the Rehab Center in Ladrilla, that we have built for the past couple of springs, and has become a passionate and drug-free Christian. Having graduated from their rehab program, he stayed to work to help redeem others from drug addictions), but for me it was a symbol of the change that had taken place in me about Torre Fuerte. I was once again confident enough in the church to invite those seeking Christ. I thank God for the changes that have occurred, I feel like they are my church family in Croc and, as I leave, I feel like Croc is in good hands.

During the week Victor helped me stain the chairs and Peluchi helped on the final assembly. On Saturday afternoon we took six chairs over to the ranch that Peluchi’s parents are caretakers of. Peluchi’s stepdad’s brother was in the hospital and the family was trying to figure out whether and how to go and visit him. The parents decided to leave, but the mom was thankful for the chairs. Later that night, at Peluchi’s birthday party, Peluchi and Fernando were more excited about the chairs. They commented on how in the six months of staying at the ranch they had not been able to get/build chairs for their mom. The birthday party for Peluchi was a lot of fun.

The next day (Sunday May 23) Peluchi and Rodolfo helped me throw a going away party at my house. Close to a hundred people came including many of the families Peluchi and I have been visiting. Peluchi and Rodolfo prepared a pig in two cajons (function like outdoor ovens, meat is placed inside the box and then coals are added on top of the metal top). Just before dinner I gave a short speech thanking the people for opening their lives and hearts to me and shared what a wonderful part of my life these past two years had been. There were some emotional goodbyes as people left the party. Several of the moms of families I visited cried and it was really sad for me to. Around midnight there was a group of about ten of my closest friends who stayed for several more hours. Peluchi even road with us as Rodolfo drove me to the bus station at 4:30am.

This final week in Croc was an exhausting one, but I thank God that I really feel like I was able to say goodbye well. I got the chance to have significant encounters all week long with the vast majority of people who have become so dear to me in Croc these past two years. I want to thank all of you blog readers out there for keeping up with me during this time and for all of your prayer support–it has made a huge difference. Thank You!!!

P.S.

I’m sure a lot of you are wondering about what I will be up to next and to tell you the truth I’m wondering the same thing. If you read earlier about my trip to Fuller you know the excitement I had about that option, but I did not receive the scholarship I had hoped for. I worked out a detailed budget to determine exactly how much debt I would be going into if I went to the school and I also pursued some other options for independent scholarships. Yesterday the final scholarship decision came back and it became clear that to go to the school I would have to take on about twice as much debt as I had determined could be my maximum. It seemed as if God was shutting the door.

As I thought about this I saw my childhood Bible was on the living room table (later I found out mom had gotten it out to use with my niece Ivy who is in town). Curious to see what I had highlighted as an elementary student, I opened up the Bible. It instantly flipped open to 1st Samuel and a note I had written probably when I was ten: “Samuel Chapt. 8, You are sometimes like the people (of Israel, who want a king in this chapter) & want something God says no to” Wow. A pretty clear message that spoke right along what seemed to be revealing itself not only in the finical signs, but also in the advice of my family and friends. And so at this point I do not know what God has for my future, and I am struggling with that. I want to have a plan and to be moving forward, but I can only receive what God gives me (John 3:27). As I talked this struggle over with my pastor yesterday he encouraged me that my only responsibility is to obey Christ. He said that some may look at my life and think it isn’t successful, but he looks at it and sees that I have lived up to the things God has asked me to do and so I am successful. For now I am trying to remember to remain in Christ and that he will take care of being productive (John 15:5). I am still engaged in planning and seeking what to do in the future, but I am trying to apply the following quote (I think from George MacDonald?):

“A more Christian attitude, which can be attained at any age, is that of leaving the future in God’s hands. We may as well, for God will certainly retain it whether we leave it to Him or not. Never, in peace or war, commit your virtue or your happiness to the future. Happy work is best done by the man who takes his long-term plans somewhat lightly and works for the moment to moment ‘as to the Lord.’ It is only our daily bread that we are encouraged to ask for. The present is the only time in which any duty can be done or any grace received. “

I called Peluchi last Sunday to wish him a happy birthday and during that conversation he told me he will be coming back into town in time to see me, he thinks he will get in Thursday afternoon!

With only five days left in Croc after today, I’m feeling the crunch and realize I won’t be able to get everything done I want to. But I do feel like things are wrapping up well. I am making hanging out and getting those chairs done my highest priority. In fact today I am combining the two. Victor is going to come by after school and help me put the finishing coat on the chairs. Each night I’m trying to do house visits and that leads to a lot of relational favors (like picking up refrigerators with Alfredo or cookie classes with Victor, Jose, Fernando, and Chewito).

Last night I had to say my first goodbyes: to Rodolfo’s family. We went out to their house in Monterrey to celebrate his parents’ 30th wedding anniversary. As always there was a delicious dinner (carne asada this time) and fun conversation. It’s sad to say goodbye though and I know I just getting started on that sentiment.

Be in prayer for me this week as I continue to say goodbye to the people of Croc.

I went to LA for five days last week to attend the Prospective Student Weekend at Fuller Seminary in Pasadena. I also took the chance to visit seven aunts and uncles and a couple of cousins who live in the LA area. It was great to spend several days with them (it has been a little over two years since I was out there!). We toured a lot of LA, had some great food, and even watched a Royals game together!

As I talked about in an earlier post, I will be leaving Croc/YouthFront at the end of May. I am currently trying to discern what God desires for  my next step. I am  looking into several options, but at the top of my list are Fuller Seminary and an internship program with Samaritans Purse.

The weekend at Fuller went really well. I had the opportunity to talk with several staff, students, and alumni and they all impressed me. The school seems to be seeking truth through questions/critical thinking and also holding on to a strong love/faith for Christ. Both of these are very important to me in a seminary.

Also many people at the school seemed to understand the questions I am struggling with here in Croc. Furthermore, conversations with the other prospective students went really well. It was great to share our different life experiences and thoughts, I can tell the interaction with peers will be one of the greatest parts of seminary if I go.

So by now it probably sounds like I am sold, but I’m not. For me, the only major drawback in Fuller is the price, but it is a big one. They do offer a couple of full rides (I will find out about if I got one about the middle of May and I would appreciate any prayers for me in that matter), but without one of those I would likely go about $50,000 in debt for tuition alone (I would work part-time as well, but I’m not sure I can keep up with living expenses in Pasadena on just part-time work).

The problem for me is I’m not sure if God will have me doing more missions or working for a church after I get out. If it is missions, I will be really limited by the debt.

I met a new friend at the prospective weekend, Chris (who went to Blue Springs South High School with me, though we didn’t meet till last friday!). As I shared a little of my concern about money, he encouraged me that God would provide. I agree, if God wants me to go to Fuller He will provide for me both to go and to be capable to do His will in the future.

I shared with Chris about something the Holy Spirit spoke to me through Matthew 6:24″No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money. ” God was telling me that acting on a fear to spend money was another way to serve money. God didn’t lead me to any sort of decision about what to do, only that I needed to let go of the anxious fear of debt that was clouding my heart and prayers.

Today I took the sheep for a walk into the woods so I could have some time to meditate on the weekend at Fuller and to reflect on a few verses from what I have been reading in Hosea:

“I led them with cords of human kindness,
with ties of love;
I lifted the yoke from their neck
and bent down to feed them.” (Hosea 11:4)

Pretty much anytime I read about any leading right now I perk up. I wondered, as the sheep pecked at the leaves on a fallen branch by a dry creek, if God was leading me through all the human kindness I had experienced at Fuller. I then asked God to take the yoke of the tuition price off my neck and provide for me.

In times like these, when I’m obsessing over a decision, it becomes hard to hear God’s voice and I’m not sure he was trying to say anything through the Hosea passage.

Please be in prayer for me as I try to determine God’s will. Pray that God will clearly reveal His path to me and that He will provide for me on it.

Thanks.

PS. I returned to Croc to find out Peluchi left for a job with one of our friends. He went to Cancun and doesn’t know when he will get back! I talked to him yesterday and he had just arrived (they were on the road for 40 hours!). He says he really wants to get back in time for our party (we had been planning a joint party for his birthday and my going-away), but he doesn’t know when he will come back. I really hate to miss out on seeing him this last month that I am here, but we’ll see…perhaps he will show up as unexpectantly as he left.

We spent a lot of our time visiting families. It was great to get to introduce my family to the families I know so well here. Parents particularly seemed pleased to meet my parents and they had a lot of nice things to tell my folks about me.  The house visit is the heart of my ministry here and it was great to get to share it with my parents. Also mom lent her more developed baking skills and we got a chance to make one of my favorites, cinnamon-sugar muffins, together. Also I found out I had both written incorrectly and misunderstood some parts of her chocolate-chocolate chip cookie recipe and yet they have been such a hit in Croc, mom wanted to try them my way. She was impressed and I think my new recipe might go down in history along side champagne and penicillin as one of the great-accidental discoveries.  While we baked we also got a chance to play foosball (a recent donation to us) with Jovani and Aline.

Jovani stopped by and my parents got a chance to sit in on one of our bible reading times (we are slowly reading through the gospel of Mark together).

One of the best parts for me was their getting to meet my best friend and partner here in Croc: Peluchi. He helped us put a door in at the Rehab Center
and he accompanied us on some of the house visits. Mom cooked chicken and mashed potatoes for him (he wanted to try real american food and also said I owed him since his mom often cooks for me). And Peluchi returned the favor by inviting us out to his stepdad’s ranch for discada one night. Several of my friends came too and we had a great time with Peluchi’s family.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

After my parents left I spent some time on my roof thinking about the week. It had been incredibly refreshing to me. I really respect my parents and it was great to share what life is like down here. They also reminded me about who I am and this was uplifting to me too. But while they were here we got into several talks with the families about how sad it was I was leaving (Olga said she will cry and Peluchi said he would too). Peluchi and I had a talk too about how things would look after I am gone. After my parents left I missed them more than I have at any other time in Croc and yet I also am realizing how much I will miss this place after I leave. I know that I can’t hold on to all that I love. But I asked God about it and how…how is someone to live when you can’t hold onto those you love? While still on the roof, I read in John 1:1-18 (a really strong passage) and pondered it for a while. Verse 4 “In him (Chirst) was life, and that life was the light of men.” I realized that life is in Christ. He is The Source and in life He is all we can hold on to.

First Group:

First Reform Church (Sioux Center, Iowa)

This group has been coming for nine or so years and helped build some of our primary structures. They have been here I believe all four summers and both Marches I have been in Croc and so I have gotten to know several of them well. Also Allie and Aaron (construction supervisors from last summer) came with this group. We are good friends and it was a blast to hang out with them again!

Our primary task this week was to install two wall divisions in the large room we made last March at the Drug Rehab Center so that they could better use the space for classrooms. We also had a several side projects at the Rehab Center and our own base including door repairs, painting, plumbing problems, and desk making.

Our wall divisions were made of dry wall with a metal core (typical Mexican style core as opposed to using wood). I know almost nothing about hanging drywall, but Randy (one of the group members) did and so I placed him in charge of the project and I focused most of my energy on teaching Victor and Chepee (both 15, who we hired again to work part time with us) how to construct the desks (which we were building for a computer class the Rehab Center is planning on having). I really enjoyed getting to work on a small project with them. Quike, one of my friends from town, also came out several days this week to help out.

 In our original schedule, Thursday night I was supposed to lead a discussion with the group, but our schedule changed around Tuesday and so I didn’t plan anything. Late Thursday night Christy said, “Oh and Jake, tomorrow morning can you lead the discussion you were going to lead tonight?” I said yes, and yet had to go home to address all my newsletters to send early the next morning with a few people from the group who were flying back early. After delivering the newsletters to the group around 6:30am I went home to plan for my 9:00am discussion. I grabbed the book Wounded Healer (by Henri Nouwen), which had been on my mind that week. I hadn’t read it in a few years, but hoped to summarize some of it for the discussion. As I skimmed the book though I realized its truth was best left in book form. This realization came around 8:30 though. I had no idea what to lead the discussion on and realized I had yet to pray at all about it. So I finally prayed. I felt God reminding me of my conversation with Adolfo and the message I shared with the guys at the soup kitchen (see the post: ‘insight from Adolfo’); I recalled the heart of the Gospel—Christ suffered to heal us—and our need to carry his death around with us so His life can be lived through us. So I took the group down to my yard (a little more secluded place than the church’s courtyard) and had different group members read aloud Isaiah 53, 1^st Peter 2:20b-25, Mathew 26:20-30 (each three times). Then we took communion. It was a powerful time and reminded me once again the need to be Spirit-led in leading spiritual discussions (and really all of life).

Second Group:

Faith Reformed Church (also Sioux Center, Iowa)

This group I first met last March when we were started our first project at the Rehab Center. This year they had a mix of first timers and veterans to Croc and the majority of the group was in college or high school. We got along well.

Our task was to build a small office for Hermana Juanita (the leader of the rehab center) right next to the building we made last spring. The group had some experience with tile and we tiled both the office and one of the bathrooms of Torre Fuerte (the church YouthFront is partnered with). The group also installed a couple of toilets, a sink, and did some landscaping at our base. We also finished the last of the computer desks we started with the first group.

During the week we got the chance to spend an evening with the guys at the Rehab Center. We ate dinner, listened to their testimonies, and played volleyball with them. After hearing their testimonies one of our group asked how they knew it was Christ who had helped them. This question really peaked my interest as I have been in deep theological discussions lately with a close friend of mine about how we can know about God and Christ. One of the guys from the rehab center talked about he had tried worshiping Satan, death, and had gone to several expensive physiatrists. None of them had been able to help him, but Christ had come with the power to save him from his drug addiction. As Paul seems to say in 1^st Corinthians 2:4-5, faith should not stand on wise or persuasive words, but on experiencing God’s power.